“Nobody likes you!”
Recently during a pilates class, I shared a few words of encouragement for us all, “Hang in there, we can do it, we’re almost there.”
Much to my surprise, the woman next to me, who I’ve even had lunch with a few times, said “Nobody likes you!” I started to chuckle in my shocked and surprised way that I do when something like this happens and said, “Well that’s not a very nice thing to say.” Which she then replied, “Nobody likes positive people.” I chuckled again and said “that’s not true”.
Knowing my personality type, it’s important to me to have people like me. It used to be so important to me that I would conform to what others wanted or were like. I would compromise who I am to my core, but not anymore sister!
Knowing my values, strengths, who I am and whose I am allows me to continue to be me! It’s not always easy, but no one said life would be easy.
LIES
What she was saying was not true. People do like me gosh darn it. 😉 And there are many people who love and need positive and encouraging people.
IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME
Whatever is in our heart comes out of our mouths. She must have been hurting or struggling with something that day, and it had nothing to do with me.
BEING ME
I will continue to be positive and encouraging – – it’s who God made me to be. It’s who I am to my core.
Years ago, my mother-in-law told me something I will never forget and I totally believe to be true. When you have a light that shines bright, you hold a mirror up to others and some people do NOT like what they see, and they end up taking it out on you. This was not the first time, nor will it be the last time.
I AM HUMAN
Of course it hurt my feelings, I am human. It hung over me the entire day. As I drove away from class that day, I was able to reflect on what just happened. I was quickly able to switch the focus on myself to her. What was going on in her that would cause her to say that. I actually felt badly for her, while still feeling a little badly for myself. 😉
Don’t get me wrong, part of me was thinking, “I’m not doing lunch with her again”, and “Maybe I should switch classes so I don’t have to be around her anymore”. My old self was fighting with my new self.
If we call ourselves Christians, we are called to look different. It’s not easy, but it’s not about me. We are commanded to show His love, His mercy, His grace. So, I will get out of my own way and will continue to shine His light and love wherever I go.
I shared this with you for 4 reasons.
Not everybody will like you.
If your personality type is similar to mine, be careful. Don’t be a people pleaser, not everyone will like you, and you will lose yourself. It’s impossible to please everyone and exhausting. STOP!
You are not alone.
We all have bumps, get our feelings hurt, struggle, etc. It just looks different for each of us.
It’s not about you (unless you said or did something that was obvious).
98% of how people react to you has more to do with them than it does you. Unless most react to you the same, then you better take a long look in the mirror.
Be you!
The best thing you can do is be you. You are here for a reason. God made only one you! No one can be you and do what you can do. You are uniquely and beautifully made.
Remember, only light can drive out darkness. 😉
Let your light shine even if it’s the only light around you.
As always, shine on,
Ali
You are SO right! I have been a people pleaser my whole life to some extent and have said ‘Yes’ when I really should have stood my ground and said ‘No’. I try to remember the phase ” saying no to someone else is like saying yes to yourself.” I often chant that to myself when I have to decline a request which stretches me too thin, or takes me away from my goals and authentic self.
Thanks for reminding me of this Ali. It’s always good to remember that people’s reactions are not your fault or responsibility.
And … I not only LIKE you, I LOVE you! (But I think you already know that) 🙂
Your friend, Andrea xx